The Same Damn Thing

Hey, guess where I am!
Yeah, you probably guessed it. Photography class.
Anyways, so let's get on what is currently bugging me.
Why does everyone on the planet feel it is their duty to cheer me up? I mean, yes, I am upset. No, it is not at any of my friends. So why does that require anyone's attentions? It's not as though there is anything they can do about it. Mrs. Page keeps trying to get me to smile, but honestly, smiling is not something I'm very fond of lately. People ask what's wrong, and I kind've just shrug because frankly, they can't help for one, and two it just makes me seem pathetic to say the same thing is wrong over and over again. No, I'm not happy. Stop trying to make me be happy!

Why should I be? Being nice or happy doesn't get me anything. No matter how nice I am, no matter how little I ask of people, I get nothing for my trouble.
I try and get along with everyone. I try to talk to people and be nice so that people know, "Hey, Lindsey isn't emo, depressed and anti-social!"
I'm not outgoing at all, yet all I've been trying to do for ages now is get people to like talking to me or at least not mind my presence. I try to be the girl that the other girls don't trash talk for trash talking, I try to be the kind of girl that any guy would ever consider dating. It does no good.

Yes, it's the dating thing again. If you don't like it you can leave. I don't really give a shit how pathetic you think I am for still being on this tirade. I honestly, can't really see why this makes me pathetic anyways. I have decent reasons for wanting a boyfriend. It's not like I just want a boyfriend to prove I can get one or because the people around me have relationships or even because people seem to think it's so important. I want that relationship. I want someone whom I can talk with seriously without being talked down to or pitied. I want someone who can hug me and make me feel better. Someone who makes me happy just by smiling at me.

Is that seriously so freakin much to ask? One person who cares about me as more than a friend who I feel the same way about?
I love my friends, but they can't give me that.
Evidently, my school can't either.
Not that I'm surprised.
The last guy (strike that, the only guy) I liked that liked me back was someone I met on a cruise ship, and after the week he went back to New York and I came home and we never spoke again because neither of us had any way to get hold of each other.
(That was what made me go into my all black, I hate life and want to die thing of the late 6th through 8th grade).

Whatever...I hate high school. And if this is the best time of my life....shit...

Sitting in Photography

I'm finding Photography rather pointless at the moment. I can't do anything here. All the discs for the Photoshop are missing from the books, and I'm like no lesson 11 or 12 anyways which is about four lessons farther than I need to be. So I'm just going to sit here for the third class, bored out of my mind. Holland gave me the next to volumes of Decendants of Darkness. I could just read those I guess. I really should have brought my book report book because I need to finish reading that so I can write the book report (even though I'm not sure how I'm supposed to write the book report). This weekend I'm apparently going to the Black Out Dance. Only because Holland is having a sleep over for her birthday afterwards so it's easiest to just go to the dance and then straight to her house afterwards. So I won't have time this weekend to get the report finished. I hope I don't get a ton of homework this weekend. That would really suck cause then I'm going to be all stressed out trying to get all my work done once I get home from Holland's party.

I'm insanely hungry. And all I have for lunch is Doritos. I'll have to beg food off of people.
I'm going to go to the stop and rob after school to get something to eat first before I go to anime club. I have very little money so I'm not sure what I'll be able to buy. Well...I'm now going to go see how long I can sleep before Ms. Rodriguez asks me why I'm not doing anything.

Photography HW

Today I went downtown to do my photography HW. It was so weird because I forgot that because of Labor Day most things would be closed, and there were hardly any people downtown. It was really quiet and nice.

I got some really cool pictures too. My top three favorites have to be the one of the climbing flowers by the staircase outside Los Reyes, the shot of the alleyway, and this one picture I got of a barred opened window with a crow sitting on the top of the lightpost that was just beside it.
Don't know why I think it's so cool. It just is.

All my homework is done now though. I should watch Conquerer of Shamballa or something. I dowloaded it last night because I'm too cheap to pay $30 something for it. I also got a few good music videos. Yes...they do include Tyson Ritter.

Pix Place

I have to say, Verizon annoys the crap out of me a large part of the time. Last night, when I was at the All-American Rejects concert, I got some awesome pictures on my phone. The problem is I have no idea how I get the pictures onto my computer. I can't email them to myself because my phone doesn't have anything like that. I'm supposed to be able to send them to Pix Place which is the free service Verizon gives you to send your pictures to, but, even though I use to do that all the time, the Pix Place site has like completely vanished. It pisses me off. I go online and I ask around, "How do you get to Pix Place. Everybody gives the same link, and all it does is take you to the Verizon website where you can log in but there is no way to access the pictures you sent after that. It's so effing irritating. I need to go check around and see if I can't find a link to it or a way to it again. Cause I really really really want to the pictures off of my phone.

(p.s. on another note, I had a really awesome dream where I got to kiss the lead singer (Tyson) of the All-American Rejects....he is effing fine.)